Here's some advice. If a dude that looks like this moves into your neighborhood, move the f*ck out! Seriously, this dude can't even remotely pass for human. He crushes crucifixes, snaps necks, drinks blood, needs an orthodontist, has some kind of funky skin condition and is in desperate need of Visine. If doesn't take Einstein to figure out there's something not quite right with this guy.
So long story short. Vampire comes to town, starts infecting people, town quickly gets overrun with f'ing vampires and the town of Salem's Lot turns into one big clusterf*ck. The only one that can save you is David Soul who for some reason is trying to take this job on without Starsky and Huggie Bear, and the cool car is now a crappy jeep. Wait a sec; did I say David Soul is the only one that can save you? That's not entirely accurate cause he pretty much doesn't save anybody. Let's see:
Priest...dead.
Girlfriend...dead.
Girlfriend’s father...dead.
Everyone in the f'ing town...dead.
Local kid...saved himself.
Nope I don't think having David Soul on your vampire slaying team is going to up your odds of survival.
So long story short. Vampire comes to town, starts infecting people, town quickly gets overrun with f'ing vampires and the town of Salem's Lot turns into one big clusterf*ck. The only one that can save you is David Soul who for some reason is trying to take this job on without Starsky and Huggie Bear, and the cool car is now a crappy jeep. Wait a sec; did I say David Soul is the only one that can save you? That's not entirely accurate cause he pretty much doesn't save anybody. Let's see:
Priest...dead.
Girlfriend...dead.
Girlfriend’s father...dead.
Everyone in the f'ing town...dead.
Local kid...saved himself.
Nope I don't think having David Soul on your vampire slaying team is going to up your odds of survival.
1 comment:
Funny review lol!
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