The Golden Compass

Right off the bat I've got to say that somebody need to tell Nicole Kidman to fire her fucking agent. I don't know who this dude is but she's been getting some pretty crappy roles lately and I love Nicole Kidman. Being a fan of the Steampunk genre I had some pretty high hopes for this movie but they came crashing down in a ball of fire bigger than the Hindenburg. This movie was so obviously attempting to ride the Lord of the Rings / Narnia wave it wasn't even funny and it failed miserably. It had way too many characters that were just plain unlikeable and the plot was near incomprehensible. There are supposes to be two more film in this series but frankly I can't see this movie grossing enough money to warrant them. Hang on I'll check...ok, it made 26.1 million in the U.S. and 55 million overseas for a total of 81.1 million. That might not sound like the worst failure in the world until you account for the fact that it cost 180 million to make (not including marketing this crap) so yeah, it's a friggin flop. I watched this movie twice and I'm still not certain exactly what the hell was going on. Did I mention that all of the characters were ANNOYING. Yes dear friends that very much includes the polar bear. While we're at it somebody needs to call up Sam Elliot and tell him to get some RANGE! I mean for heavens sake man every role he's in he plays the exact same cowboy character. Even in a bloody fantasy film! You can make a whole career by playing the same character??? Well I shouldn't be too surprised Kevin Costner did it.

If your idea of a good time is sitting through a film that will make you pray for it to please end then maybe The Golden Compass is up your alley. I'm glad I rented it because if I would have paid theater prices to see this one I would have been pissed!

...and it was too long.